Preseason Musings, 2010

Here we go now!!!

How long does it seem since we watched Alabama and Texas tee if up in the MNC game in Pasadena last January. 12 years? I'm with you. Although we had the happy occurence of the Blackhawks' run, I've still been longing for the leaves to turn and the chill of autumn to return, especially since we've all been sweating our balls off this summer.

So, what can we expect? In past years, I could sit down at this point in the summer and give you a pretty informed opinion on what I think might happen, and I might even be somewhat confident about it. This year, not the case...at least in the specifics. We still are almost certainly going to see the MNC game be between some combination of the following teams:

Alabama
Florida
Oklahoma
Texas
Ohio State

There are some other teams that have an outside shot, like Boise especially, but they need 4 or those teams to slip up somehow. Unfortunately, even with a loss, the winner of the SEC title almost certainly will get a spot. And the 2 big boys from the Big 12 or 10 or telve or twen, or Texas and Texas's 9 pin cushions, etc have 1 (Oklahoma) and 2 (Texas) tough games on their schedules. Maybe Ohio St can sneak in if they go undefeated. That's pretty much how it lines up. Of course, I'm sure none of you are losing sleep over this garbage anyway. I recommend you do what I do: Root against fanbases. When your team is historically brutal like mine, you look for other things to get yourself lathered up. The good thing is that in any game, the fans of the losing team are going to be upset, and I take great pleasure in that. Although I generally like Nick Saban, and I used to root for Bama in my anti-Tuberville days, it does my heart good to know that this guy feels bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIE0xpwMWeo&feature=search

Or if Ohio St loses, you can relish that it makes people feel like this:



To quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny because it isn't me.".

Give it a try.

As usual, I'll talk about some teams that I like, and some teams that I don't like. Sadly, I have not been able to drum up any hated for any coaches this year, even with my old buddy Tommy Tuberville being gainfully employed this year. Dick Rod and Less Miles are such pathetic cases anymore that it almost seems unfair to heap abuse on them anymore, though I'm sure I'll find some justifiable reasions to do so during the season.

Ah, screw it. I give you Less Miles. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B9kfnJvB6Q&feature=search He's just so great. That's all I can say. Unfortunately, even those swarthy cajun illiterate quasi-frenchmen are starting to figure out that he's a complete dunce, so this will probably be the last year we'll have to kick him around. I also finally found a youtube of the moment when I first realized what a bonehead this guy is, in his 2nd game at the helm at LSU. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FapBwlnau4w&feature=related
And just for good measure, here's the articulate response given by Less when some reporter had the great foresight for high comedy to ask him for his thoughts on the gulf oil spill. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi4Zq8piDvI&feature=search
Classic. I'll move on.

Normally, when I start looking at teams in the preseason, there are a few that really jump out at me as teams I'd really like to keep an eye on. This year, I can't really say that this is the case. Some teams are set up pretty well, but it's kind of a ho-hum group

1. Auburn: Not that i think they'll have much of a chance to knock off Alabama in the SEC West, but they have a legitimate shot to be undefeated when they tee it up with the Tide in the Iron Bowl in Tuscaloosa. Their schedule, being an SEC schedule(plus Clemson in the non-conference), cannot be tagged as easy, but it's manageable. All of their NC games are at home, and their conference road games prior to Bama are Mississippi St, Kentucky and Ole Miss. They have South Carolina, Clemson, Arkansas, LSU and Georgia all at home. My guess is that they'll be favored in every game until Bama. They return all 5 of their OL, their top 5 receivers, and their top 5 tacklers on D. They have to replace Ben Tate, but Mario Fannin and Onterrio Mccaleb, who both averaged more per carry than Tate are back, and they added the #2 RB in the country to this year's freshman class. They also have to replace Chris Todd at QB, but they like new QB Cam Newton a lot better than him anyway. It could be a great year on the plains. Not too many people bellyaching about Gene Chizik anymore.

2. Boise St: This one is obvious, but I have to mention these guys. They have just about every conceivable guy back from a team that went undefeated and basically unchallenged in the regular season, then beat the scorched earth riders from hell known as TCU in the Fiesta Bowl. Kellen Moore is returning with a 39/3 ratio and his OL and full complement of WR and RB back. It'll be a farewell party in the WAC that the rest of the WAC wished they weren't invited to.

3. Texas A&M: You can make a case that Jerod Johnson is the top non Kellen Moore QB coming back this year, with his 30/7 ratio and 60% completion rate. He's also got all his skill guys back. They will show a lot of improvement on D because they brought in Air Force's former D coordinator, and if you watched AF thoroughly befuddle Case Keenum and co in the bowl game last year, you know that guy knows what he's doing. They also get Nebraska, Oklahoma and Texas Tech at home. Their road games are v Arkansas in Arlington(a toughie), Baylor(not quite), Oklahoma St(definitely not a toughie) and Kansas(they'll be starting a QB named Kale Pick...nuff said). Then they finish up with Texas in Austin, but they've played well in that game in recent years.

4. South Carolina: If the OBC doesn't get something significant done down in Columbia this year, he might never do it. Consider: The Cocks have most everyone back from last year and they add the #1 freshman RB in the country to their freshman class. Florida is transitioning to a new QB, and they might experience some growing pains, but if they do, it won't be for long. Tennessee is a train wreck. Mark Richt is under some pressure in Georgia and they had to launch their whole defensive staff. South Carolina should always be better than Kentucky and Vandy. Most of the noise coming from the coaching staff in Cock fall camp has been positive, which is rare for Spurrier. They've got some explosiveness on offense. Stephen Garcia is no virtuoso back there at QB, but compared to the rest of the SEC QBs this year, he's in the upper echelon. It's probably now or never for the ball coach, in terms of actually contending to win the East.

5. Iowa/Wisconsin: These are the top 2 challengers to Ohio St in the Big Ten, and both get the Buckeyes at home during the year. Both were solid last year and have their key people back: Wisconsin with John Clay and all 5 starters from a very good line, and Iowa with basically everyone on offense and their playmakers on defense. In the race between these two, I lean to Iowa because they've had Wisconsin's number lately and this year's game is in Iowa City. Come to think of it, Iowa might make similar noise this year to what they made last year if they can get past Arizona in Tucson in week 3. Their road games after that are Michigan, Indiana, Northwestern and Minnesota. If they can take care of business at home,(OSU, PSU, Wisc, MSU.... nice home slate for their plump fan base)they'll be favored in all of their conference road games. Be careful with Nortthwestern, though!


Don't like:

1. Tennessee: Poor Derek Dooley. First of all, he had a record of 17-20 at Louisiana Tech, so it's not like his previous results should be breeding all kinds of confidence among anyone, himself included. He gets to clean up after the frat party that was Lane Kiffin's 1 year tenure. Bottles everywhere, random people passed out in the bushes, you get the picture. 0 out of 5 offensive linemen returning, no QB who has even taken a practice snap on the roster. No running backs who have carried the ball in a college game. The great recruiting class that Kiffin brought in is effectively gone...those players either lost interest after he left, flunked out of school(if that's possible at Tennessee) or are currently incarcerated. So he's got nothing, and has to pretty much build from scratch. If that's not enough, here's how his schedule looks in the first 8 weeks: UT Martin, Oregon, Florida, UAB, @LSU, @Georgia, Alabama, @South Carolina. That's almost certainly a 2-6 record, assuming they can beat UAB. Throw in the fact that he'll have 90k+ full throated orange hilljack clodhoppers watching him get obliterated every week, and it all adds up to quite a pickle.

2. LSU: The rumor is that Less Miles has to win a minimum of 9 games to keep his job, and even if he does that, it might still be 50/50 depending on if there are any instances where he looks like Less Miles on the sidelines. Well, that doesn't leave a whole lot of room for error, because he's got games away from Death Valley with the likes of Arkansas, Florida, Auburn and North Carolina, and he's got home games with Alabama and West Virginia. They are going to have to overachieve a bit, becuase they are missing a lot of pieces from last year's team, and last year's team got outgained for the YEAR by 25 yards per game. They will have to be mentally tough and well coached. They are screwed.

3. BYU: The Mormons are used to having good years recently, and they are picked near the top of the Mountain West in what is rumored to be their last year in the league. Everyone in that league hates them, so you can be sure that they will be getting everyone's best shot. They lose Max Hall and Harvey Unga, their two best players on offense, and will be starting a true freshman at QB. He's one of the top recruits in the country, but starting any true freshman from day 1 does not bode well for your team, as even USC felt the pain in that scenario last year. they also have almost nobody returning on the defensive side of the ball. To me it looks like a rebuilding year for BYU, and their schedule is not conducive to that. They open at home with Washington, but UW took them to the final play 2 years ago in Seattle when BYU was ranked in the top 10 and UW went winless and was coached by Ty Willingham. It's safe to say UW is better now, and BYU is worse, so that one is no gimme. Then they go to Air Force(who I like a lot this year)and to Florida St. Then they come home to play Nevada and that ramshackle running game. They also catch both TCU and Utah on the road...very likely losses. After 4 straight double digit win seasons, they are going to struggle to win 8 this year in my opinion.

4. Oklahoma St: Talk about a cupboard being left bare....good Lord. Luckily for them Zac Robinson got hurt for awhile last year so QB Brandon Weeden could get some experience, otherwise, it would be Kendall Hunter and the 21 dwarves as far as returning experience goes. Hopefully, that punk Mike Gundy recruited some athletes. I'm sure he did, since Okie St, the home of the litterally illiterate(!!!) Dexter Manley, has always been willing to be a refuge for the various vagabonds our educational system has left behind. One other note: Do you all remember in the movie "Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd Christmas spiked his buddy Harry's drink with Turbo Lax, and the situation that faced Harry about 20 minutes later? That will be nothing compared to the shitfest that occurs when Washington St visits Stillwater Sept 1. I think Washington St is still suiting up members of the Pullman area Gay Glee club. At least you'd assume that based on the fact they haven't played in a game that wasn't over by the 2nd quarter in 2 years.

Well, that does it for now. I'll move on to perusing the lines for week 1 here shortly. Hopefully, this year will prove to be more fruitful than last year, which I hope was a 1 year fluke abomination. Until I hear differently, I'll assume you people are masochists or still want the musings for fading purposes. Take care, and let's have a safge and prosperous football season.